Hurt
by TeamChaosPrez
Summary: Pearl angst, with some Amethyst.


Hurt

A Steven Universe Oneshot

_A/N: I wanted to write angst, I passed an angsty comic on Tumblr, so here, have your angst. There is some implied Pearl/Rose and some nice and cold angst to satiate you this fine night/day. This takes place when Steven is one week old. This takes place a little bit before my other one-shot, "Healing."_

One week, and the pain hadn't faded. It had been an entire seven days since Pearl had last seen her beloved, seven days since Rose had given up her physical form and a tiny, screaming _thing _had been placed into existence to _replace _her.

The pale gem had made it no secret that she held a massive amount of contempt for the newborn baby. When he was kept as far, far away from her as possible, she could hide the hurt a little better. But being nearby him was like the metaphorical wounds in her chest had been ripped open and had salt rubbed deep, deep, _deep _into the raw and bloodied skin. He looked too much like her, his eyes were the precise dark shade.

And that didn't help Pearl's hatred at all. If anything, it made her hate him _more._

At least she had a companion in her silent hatred, however. Garnet had long succumbed to the allure of the tiny human, but Amethyst had remained bitter; almost as bitter as Pearl was, though not quite to the extent. Whenever they were absolutely forced to be in the same room as the newborn, they sat together, arms pressed against each other so that they could be squeezed as far from the child as they possibly could be. Whenever they were alone, even if no words passed, the presence of someone that still missed Rose Quartz and still hated her son was comforting enough.

By now, as a matter of fact, the wordless and shared hatred had made Pearl dependent on Amethyst without even noticing it. She felt as though the smaller gem was the only one she could trust anymore, and this was something she needed immensely. She was not capable of taking care of herself. Though she tried to be strong, she was very fragile both physically and emotionally, and there was never a time that could match how emotionally in need she had been in the week following Rose's death.

So when she warped into the house that had been built for the baby and was greeted by Amethyst holding the napping boy on her chest, words could not describe the feelings of hurt and betrayal that festered in her chest and threatened to explode at any moment.

Pearl just stared, angry tears making their way into her crystalline blue eyes, before she warped off again, running through the old flower field and hopping across the floating spaces of land until she reached the spot so important to her. The gem sat on the grass, pulling her pale knees up to her flat chest. Her unnecessary breaths were shallow and ragged, as though she was doomed to cry at any moment.

She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling a warm breeze ruffle her clothes and her short peach hair. A feeling of numbness soon washed over her as she managed to ward of the sobs that had been building up for however long she had been at the hill.

She had become so used to the quiet and the numbness that a familiar voice saying her name was enough to make her jump and clutch at her chest. If she had a heart, it might have skipped a beat.

"Pearl." The smaller gem repeated.

The one being addressed turned to face Amethyst. The purple being was nervously twisting her light hair around her fingers, seeming a little bit nervous to be around her teammate.

_And with good reason, _Pearl thought bitterly, not giving her the graces of a reply but continuing to face her in order to signify that she was listening.

"You're not mad at me, are you?"

_Yes, _was the answer she wanted to give. It took effort to remember that Amethyst was much, much younger than she, and would probably not handle the truth of how she was feeling very well. So the former confidante lied straight to her face."No."

"Look, P, I just... he's a really sweet kid, you just need to give him a chance-"

"I don't _want _to give him a chance!"

Whoops, that had come out a little more childishly than she had intended it to. Even so, Amethyst flinched at the response, which brought with it an odd feeling of satisfaction.

Pearl forced herself to take a deep breath, taking a fistful of grass between her fingers on each hand. She managed to calm enough to speak calmly before letting herself respond.

"He's the reason Rose isn't here anymore, Amethyst. He's the reason that she's gone. She gave up her entire existence to bring him around, and he's not even half of what she was-"

"You're not the only one that misses her, you know."

While being interrupted with that would have normally made her nonexistent heart sink, now it made her illogically angry.

"I _know!"_ She snapped with the venom practically dripping from her voice onto the ground.

"And you're blaming an innocent newborn baby for something that was entirely Rose's choice. She had to shapeshift the right organs to make him, she said it herself-"

_"Shut up!"_

Pearl was standing now, her temper on edge, not even realizing that she was yelling at Amethyst for the first time in her life. The words were coming out in an unstoppable waterfall now, a storm of rage and sadness and unfathomable pain making its way through her words.

"I _know _I'm not the only one that misses Rose, but I also know that I'm the only one that had something with her like I did! I'm the one she picked Greg over and I'm the one that's been suffering since she started seeing that stupid human! And I'm the only one that can see that damned baby for what it is; an _abomination! _A half-human, half-gem shouldn't exist! _**And Rose should still be here with us!"**_

__Once the red glaze that was keeping her from seeing clearly was gone, she could tell that the smaller gem was looking at her with a slightly scared, but mostly angry, expression.

Amethyst clenched her fists and glared at the taller gem for a moment before speaking, eerily calmly. Normally, she had the most expression in her voice, the most fury and the most dynamite.

"Fine. Be stupid like this. I don't care." She swallowed down a crack in her speech. "But don't bother coming near me until you've gotten whatever problems you have all sorted out, okay?" The purple gem turned to go, glancing over her shoulder one last time to give a quick "goodbye" before leaping back in the direction of the warp.

Pearl watched her leave, and it took her several calming breaths to realize what she had just said, how thoroughly deeply she had just screwed up. She put a slender hand over her mouth, thinking back on what she had just let loose.

She slowly sunk to her knees, not really realizing that she was crying until she was no longer capable of holding herself upright and just collapsed in the ground, shaking with inconsolable sobs.


End file.
